As a child, others take responsibility for us.
Our parents, along with the schooling system, choose a time we wake, a time we sleep, where we stay, what we eat, what we wear, what we do, and what we learn.
We are the victim of others’ choices. We are owned by others.
This is completely necessary in our first decade – it helps us learn life’s basics whilest protecting us from premature death.
But soon after, it becomes unnecessary. What was once essential to happiness & fulfilment fast becomes its obstacle.
If we allow those early years to condition us into thinking we should let others take responsibility for our own lives, we remain a child and fall prey to a horrible (and all to common) affliction: the ‘victim’ mentality.
You’ll know a sufferer from their language.
- “If it weren’t for the government”
- “If it weren’t for my upbringing”
- “If only I was better looking”
- “Why am I so unlucky?”
You’ll notice they blame others and luck for their circumstances.
The truth is we all have good and bad luck. It’s not a factor you can control. Nor is what others say or do. Nor is our genetics (sorry for that weak chin by the way 🙊). Nor is where we were born. Nor is how our family treated us.
However, we can control ourselves.
We can control our thoughts. We can control our beliefs. We can control our decisions. We can control our actions.
And the control you exert on these things will be more impactful on the outcome of your life than luck or genetics.
So control it. Take responsibility. Make the decisions. Take the action.
The human experience is characterised by a sequence of events out of our control. You didn’t choose to be born or who your parents were. You are dealt a hand in life, and it is your reaction that defines who you are and your success or failure.
Arthur Hayes
When you’re feeling sorry for yourself Reg, remember:
Where you are right now is the sum of all the decisions you’ve made to date.
Don’t like where you are? Take responsibility, acquire more information, make better decisions, and take action.
And when you do, you’ll notice two rather unintuitive things:
- a feeling of excitement and possiblility. As the saying goes, you are now the “master of your fate & the captain of your soul”. And that’s both exciting and empowering.
- you’ll realise the more responsibility you take on, the more fulfilled you become. Living life without responsibility is like playing a computer game on cheat mode. It’s easy, but it’s empty.
So Reg, whenever you feel ready, become an adult, welcome challenges, accept responsibility, and take ownership of your life.