When I was in my early Twenties, I converted to religion.

It wasn’t Christianity, nor Islam, Hinduism, Sikhism, or Buddhism.

It was Self-Help.

My prophet was not Jesus, nor Muhammed, Bhrama, Waheguru, or Buddha

It was Jim Rohn.

My holy book was not the Bible, nor the Q’uran, the Veda, the Granth Sahib, or Tipitaka. (I had to look up those last 3 😳)

It was ‘How to Win Friends & Influence People‘.

The thought I could read an instruction manual for any aspect of my life I felt deficient in, that’d change my behaviours & beliefs, and lead to a happier version of myself, was intoxicating.

I’ve been a faithful member of the Self-Help congregation since 🙌

However, after a while I realised the whole industry is just a few core principles dressed up in different clothes. Perhaps the most important of these principles is:

If it’s painful for you in the short term, it’s usually good for you in the long term.

If it’s pleasurable for you in the short term, it’s usually bad for you in the long term.

Any true ‘self helper’ would’ve heard of the ‘The Marshmallow Experiment’.

It’s where a group of kids were given a marshmallow and told if they didn’t eat it for 15 minutes, they could get another.

Those that chose short term pain (not eating the marshmallow) for the long term pleasure (eating two marshmallows) turned out significantly more successful in their adult lives.

Another way of putting it: ‘hard choices now, easy life later’.

So Reg, the biggest ‘secret’ to a good & happy life?

Always contemplate the long-term effects of your action. And accept that achieving good things in the long-term will be painful initially.

Embrace that pain and you’ll build a life of high self esteem, fulfilment and happiness.