There’s a framework called Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. It’s a simple triangle that outlines the progressive levels of human motivation.
Here it is:
The hierarchy claims that humans, whether they know it or not, spend their lives striving to climb the pyramid.
Although not explicitly linked to happiness, in my experience, this simple framework does indeed translate to fulfilment. Simply put, the higher I’ve managed to shimmy up the pyramid, the happier I’ve felt.
However, the power of Maslow’s hierarchy in helping us understand (and strive for) happiness is diluted by wishy-washy language at the higher levels. The lower levels are easy and don’t need interpretation to be actionable.
Fundamentally, you need your physiological and safety needs met (a roof over your head and predictable access to food). This is easy these days – especially for you. As a child of the Middle Class, you’ve already won.
The next ‘Social’ layer is also pretty self explanatory and something I cover in Letter 5 – Dig the Well Before You’re Thirsty.
So now let’s focus on the top two rungs; Self Esteem & Self Actualisation.
These two terms are useless because it’s unclear what you need to do to achieve them. Therefore, I’m going to smash down Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs (sorry Abraham) and rebuild it into something more actionable.
Now it’s a simpler pyramid. The top two tiers become one; Skill Acquisition.
Let me explain…
Self Esteem
Self Esteem = we want to feel admired and respected by others, and have confidence in our capabilities.
How do we feel admired & respected by others? By offering value to their lives. How do we offer value? By employing unique skills and expertise in service to them.
How do we harbour self confidence? By demonstrating to ourselves that we can actually acquire and master difficult, unique skills.
Self esteem becomes skill acquisition ✅
Self Actualisation
Self Actualisation = to become the most authentic version of ourselves, with the freedom to act as we choose, aligning with our values.
The free market pays for skills. The more unique your skillset, the more the market pays you. With the money you’re paid, you buy freedom. You buy the time and headspace to work out what the hell your values even are, before then pursuing the interesting and valuable things that align with them.
Self Actualisation becomes skill acquisition ✅
So to maximise happiness, get the roof, get the food, get the network, and then constantly pursue and develop valuable skills.
Unfortunately, like most things, society devalues the importance of skill acquisiton.
Instead it promotes the idea that ‘who we are’ is the result of innate character traits we were just unlucky, or lucky enough, to be born into. We come away from childhood thinking we’re “shy” or “not confident” or “bad with money” or “unorganised” or “not business minded” or “not good with people”. For Christ’s sake Reg, these are just skill deficiencies, not immutable characteristics.
If you’re shy, you just haven’t developed the skill of charisma or conversing with people.
If you’re bad with money, you just haven’t developed the skills of budgeting, or goal setting, or maths, or self-relection.
If you’re unorganised, you just haven’t developed the skill of time management, or personal knowledge management.
These are all just skills.
Sure, you’ll have more natural ability in some areas than others, but you can outwork your skill deficiencies. If the goal is happiness, then you really should.
As the author Robert Greene said:
Eventually the time you spent not learning skills will catch up to you, and the fall will be painful
Robert Greene